Feb. 18th, 2009

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Do you ever feel like you can't keep up with being a grownup? I feel like I am constantly behind on things like housekeeping, doing the dishes, laundry, returning emails, etc. I don't know if I am bad at managing my time or I'm just extra uptight to worry over these things so much, but no one else I know seems to ever decline brunch on Sundays because they have to spend eight hours scouring their filthy apartment. I suspect it may have something to do with regular maintenance in small batches, which I can't seem to make a habit.

I bought a pair of shoes last week for a wedding and felt very pleased about now having two pairs of sleek, grownup, work-appropriate shoes but I put on my old shoes this morning and noticed they are all scuffed and the leather on the heels is beat-up and peely, from bad cobbling and drunkenly sinking them into the cracks in the sidewalk I guess. Back down to one un-embarrassing pair, you see what I mean? I can't get ahead. I suppose one pair is better than none. But I look around at other girls on the bus and their shoes are always scuff-free and perfect and I wonder what their trick is.

Also, my favorite pair of jeans have a giant hole in the butt-thigh area but I continue to wear them because I can't find a pair I like as much. Not really related except it contributes to me feeling like kind of a mess. See also: frizzy unwashed hair. See also: lint all over my black pants today. I thought approaching 30 would be a magical tonic for put-togetherness, or at least I'd have figured out the secret to faking it well by now. Perhaps it's just as simple as having more money (or credit card debt).

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November 2009

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