I wish I knew enough about cooking or food or whatever to not feel overwhelmed and intimidated by all the cheese and meat at the Italian grocery down the street. I go in there every once in a while to buy one thing but marvel at the people who are confidently ordering a half-pound of this meat and a third pound of this cheese. Especially at the holidays--the store was packed with people ordering what must have been hundreds of dollars of cured meats and I really wanted to be invited to their party. I don't even know what most of it is, which makes me feel like a failure of my ethnic heritage. What would I do with a whole smoked trout? Or Spanish ham that costs $97/lb? A tube of anchovy paste? Why are those capers in sea salt but these ones in vinegar? I don't know but I want it all.